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butter fiftytolife.comI’m in a tiny town in LA. The state, not the city.

I just came head to head with the margarine vs. butter dilemma. Of course, it’s not a dilemma for me–butter wins hands down. But around these parts, margarine appears to be winning big time.

I went to Logan’s for dinner because that is by far and away my safest choice… You know, the trifecta: steak, salad, baked potato.

Except they don’t have any butter. Zero in the entire place, even for a baked potato. How can you have a restaurant without butter?

And I’m talking about a baked potato here. Your basic all American food. I don’t even really want the potato… it’s just a vehicle for butter. Surely in this big restaurant, there is some butter somewhere. I asked the waitress to go to the kitchen and ask, just to be sure.

Nope. No butter, just margarine.

I sat there for five more minutes studying the menu. In the end, I couldn’t take it. I left. How could I trust the chef in a restaurant that doesn’t use butter, for goodness sake? It’s practically blasphemy.

On my way out, I sternly (and cheerfully) told the young manager that margarine is poison and that you can’t have a restaurant without real food. He was pleasant but numb to my rant. Clueless.

It’s tough out in the world. You’re surrounded by people who are totally asleep when it comes to their food and their planet and their bodies. So many of my fellow humans are either so fat they can hardly walk or they look like death warmed over. One of my airline agents today… wow, did he look bad and I’ll bet he’s not even sick. Yet.

When did food stop being nourishment? And when did good delicious food become a thing of the past? Hal and I go to supposed “good” restaurants and it’s rarely (and I do mean RARELY) better than mediocre. That’s because all the food comes from the back of the same truck. The world should come to my house and eat Hal’s gallo pinto. It has actual flavors! And, heck, that’s just his beans and rice.

I told the Logan’s manager: “Your menu says you have butter for the steak.”

He said, “Oh, that’s garlic butter that comes premixed in a packet.”

That is not real food, Sonny. I’ll bet there’s not a speck of nourishment in it. And I’ll even bet there’s no actual butter in that packet either. In fact, I’ll bet it’s full of foreign matter that is not even food at all.


I’m eating a banana from Walmart now. Hope it hasn’t been irradiated. I spotted a Huddle House for breakfast. That will have to do. At least there will be real eggs from a chicken. Unless Bill Gates has gotten to them already.

Gosh, I miss my house. And my kitchen. And my cook.