This morning, while drinking my one cup of coffee, I was watching my chickens do what they do. This is what I do every morning. I love watching them even though they always do exactly the same thing: they eat, drink, poop, lay eggs. If there’s a rooster around, they submit. That’s it. That’s a chicken’s life. They can be territorial and some are ornery, no question. Other than that, they don’t think, they don’t rail, don’t resist, don’t wonder, and they don’t pray. They just be.
If you’ve read me for any length of time, you know I’ve been here before. But this time I mean it. My goal for 2012 is to reconcile my outrage with my serenity. I do have moments of serenity, honest. It’s just that the outrage is winning and I really need to reverse the proportions. The GERD is killing me and moments of serenity and, occasionally, happiness, seem to be getting further and further apart.
Actually: I’d like to have the outrage, the passion, whatever that thing is that drives us to fight injustice without the physical, spiritual and emotional repercussions. It must be possible. Ghandi did it. (I like to aim high.) And, agree with him or not, Dr. Paul has it. He maintains a positive attitude, is completely sane (maybe there’s my holdup, lol) while standing up to the beast. I want that ability.
Here’s how I plan to proceed:
1. A bit of exercise everyday: abs and push-ups (I can do 6 full-body push-ups — pretty good for an old broad. How many can you do?), a few yoga stretches. (Physical)
2. Be more consistent with my morning meditation. The payback from 20 quiet minutes cannot be beat. (Spiritual/Emotional)
3. Stop eating wheat. Wheat gives me the GERD-burn almost immediately. Plus, the first bite of bread makes me break out in a nice, long, attractive hacking cough. Weirdest thing, but it happens almost every time I take a bite of bread. It’s like my throat has to get used to it. But, whatever, wheat is out. At least for a year. Then I can re-evaluate. I already gave up sugar, which, surprisingly, was not that hard. (Physical)
4. Limit my “news hour” which is all online since we don’t have TV. It’s all bad and that’s when the outrage begins. (Emotional)
5. QTIP = Quit Taking it Personally. Life is not fair. Get used to it. On the other hand, I’m not ever going to give up reporting injustice and crimes against humanity. I just need to not wear it. I need to adopt the whole “loose garment” attitude. (Emotional)
6. Read more books. (Mental)
7. Keep my goals in mind. Acupuncture school is out. I want to want to be an acupuncturist, but I just don’t. I’m still very interested in the healing arts and have a few courses in mind, more to be revealed. My current business goal is have a bookstore/coffee shop/healing arts/marijuana dispensary (aiming high, remember?) A place where people come to talk, serving real food, a place to commune with my fellow earthlings. I love hanging out and eating and talking… seems like a good fit to me! (This would satisfy the holy trinity: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental.)
8. Have fun. Somewhere along the line I gave up having fun and replaced it with being pissed off. That can’t be good. I’m hereby adding the fun back in. (More holy trinity.)
I started today. I guess I’m aiming for the simple life of a chicken only more fun with some purpose thrown in there. How’s that for a New Year’s goal? Too high?